She Lost It
Welcome to She Lost It, the podcast for anyone ready to let go of what’s been weighing them down and step into a life they truly love. I’m Stefani—an accidental health coach, entrepreneur, mom, and someone who knows what it’s like to lose it all, start over, and come out stronger.
In this first episode, I’m sharing my story—the raw, real, and sometimes messy truth about how I went from drowning in anxiety, debt, food addiction, and people-pleasing to finally taking control of my life. But this podcast isn’t just about my journey—it’s about yours.
Each episode, I’ll share practical tips to help you break free from the patterns holding you back, whether it’s your mindset, your habits, or the stories you’ve been telling yourself. We’ll talk about what it takes to build grit, find your voice, and create a life that feels truly authentic.
Think of this as a conversation between friends—the kind where you leave feeling lighter, inspired, and ready to take action. So if you’re ready to lose what’s been keeping you stuck and gain a whole new perspective, hit play. Let’s do this together.
She Lost It
The Power Of Your Word: How Trust is Built (or Broken)
Ever had that gut feeling when someone says "I promise" that they won't follow through? Or maybe you're the one who means well but consistently falls short on your commitments? This raw, honest conversation digs into the true cost of broken promises and why your word matters more than you might realize.
Trust isn't just broken by dramatic betrayals—it's eroded by a pattern of small, unfulfilled promises that silently communicate to others that your words can't be relied upon. For those with existing trust issues, these broken commitments don't just disappoint; they confirm deeply-held fears about people being unsafe. But this isn't about perfection—it's about honesty and integrity in both big and small moments.
We explore both sides of this trust equation: why we break promises (often from people-pleasing or avoidance), how to protect your peace when others consistently let you down, and practical steps to rebuild trust if you've been that person who struggles to follow through. Learn four powerful strategies to stop personalizing others' inconsistency, enforce healthy boundaries, adjust expectations, and reclaim your power in relationships where trust has been compromised.
Whether you're working to trust again after being hurt or trying to become someone whose word carries weight, this episode offers a judgment-free roadmap to rebuilding integrity—with others and yourself. Because in a world of empty words, consistent action is what truly earns trust. Start today with one promise kept, one follow-through at a time. Your relationships—and your relationship with yourself—will thank you.
Welcome to the she Lost it podcast. I'm Stefani, and this is a space for you to lose what's been holding you back. Talk about real growth, find courage and step into the life you're meant for. Okay, friend, welcome back.
Stefani:So this is a topic that has been boiling up inside of me for many, many years and I just didn't know exactly how to put words to it until today, and it's something everyone needs to hear, because you have either been on one side of this coin or the other, or maybe both, and it might sting a little, but we've got to talk about it. So have you ever had someone look you dead in the eyes and say I promise and your gut just knows they are not going to follow through? Yup, me too. Or maybe it's this, maybe you're the one who said it, you meant it when you said it. You wanted to do the thing, call back, show up, make the change, but you didn't. Well, this episode it's for both of us, because here's what I've learned the hard way Every time you don't keep your word, you chip away at trust, and if you're someone who already has trust issues, it doesn't just hurt, it confirms everything you were afraid was true. So today we're diving into this, why keeping your word matters more than you think, why some people struggle to do it, how to protect your peace when someone keeps letting you down, and how to rebuild trust with others and yourself, if you've been that person.
Stefani:So let's go there. Let's start with the impact. The real cost of broken words is Every time you don't keep your word, you erode trust. It doesn't matter how small it was. I'll call you tomorrow and you don't. I'll be there at three and you're not. I'm going to change and you don't change. If you don't follow through the person on the receiving end, they start shrinking, they start pulling back and if they already have a history of betrayal, broken promises or abandonment, well, you just confirmed the story that they already believe that people are not safe. Words mean nothing and I'm on my own, as usual. This isn't about being perfect. It's just about being honest and if you know you're not going to do something, don't say it. If you're unsure, say that, because the damage from broken words it runs deep, especially when it's someone who's been lied to before, which is all of us.
Stefani:So let's flip the mirror. What if you're the one who doesn't follow through? Yikes? Okay, ask yourself this a simple question why? Why do you overpromise? Why do you say yes when you really mean no? Is it people pleasing guilt avoidance? I had to face that within myself. I was saying things just to get out of uncomfortable conversations or to look good, or because I wanted to believe I would follow through. But you know what that really is. That's just your ego. That is self-protection dressed up as kindness.
Stefani:Keeping your word isn't just about the other person, it's about your own integrity. You want to build confidence. You want people to respect you. Start with doing what you said you were going to do, even the little stuff, especially the little stuff. Because that is where trust is born and built. And if you're on the receiving end of broken promises, let's talk about that too. So if you're on the receiving end of broken promises, let's talk about that too.
Stefani:So if you're like me and you struggle to trust people's words unless it's backed by action, I see you. You are not crazy, you are not too sensitive, you're not asking for too much. You're protecting something precious your peace. But here's the hard truth Sometimes we've built such a strong wall that even people who are trying just can't get through. So here's the work we've got to do.
Stefani:Don't trust words. Trust patterns. Watch what they do over time not just once, not just when they're in trouble over time, and then slowly you let your guard down, one brick at a time, when you see you can trust their patterns. You can hold someone accountable without becoming bitter. You can love people and still require follow-through. You can be kind without being naive.
Stefani:So let this next part hit you like a wake-up call, because it is. If you're someone who doesn't follow through, people do notice. You are training the people around you to not take you seriously. You're reinforcing trauma in people who already feel unsafe. You're breaking down something. It takes years to build Trust and if that's you, I am not shaming you. I'm inviting you to take your power back, because you can start today. Start by keeping your word to yourself and then keep your word to others, because talk Well, it's pretty cheap. Words are everywhere, but action that is rare and that is what earns trust.
Stefani:So what do you do when someone keeps saying one thing and doing another? How do you protect your peace when someone keeps letting you down? Okay, here are four real ways that you can do that. Number one stop personalizing their inconsistency. It's not a reflection of your worth. It's a reflection of their inconsistency. It's not a reflection of your worth. It's a reflection of their patterns, simple. Number two get super clear on your boundaries and actually enforce them. And that might sound something like you saying this hey, I've noticed this thing keeps happening and I need to see follow through before I invest more energy and keep it at that. Number three shift your expectations to match their behavior, not their potential. Stop building castles on maybe someday. And number four take your power back. You can forgive someone and still decide that they don't get unlimited access to you.
Stefani:Now let's flip the coin. How do you start keeping your word, even if you never have If? Okay. If you're realizing you're that one who hasn't been keeping your word, it's okay because you can change. And here's how to do that, and you can start now. Shame won't change anything, but action will. So here's where to start.
Stefani:Number one say less and mean more. Only say yes to what you know. You are willing and able to follow through on Practice saying things like this Let me get back to you, or I'm not sure I can commit to that. Both of those phrases are very acceptable and will make you feel uncomfortable, especially if you are a people pleaser, but you can do it. Number two start with yourself.
Stefani:The quickest way to rebuild integrity is to keep a promise to you. Wake up when you said you would Do the workout, finish the thing you've been putting off, because confidence comes from evidence, so you've got to start stacking it. Number three write it down and track it. If you tell someone you're going to do something, write it in your calendar. Set a reminder and make it non-negotiable. Don't rely on good intentions. You have to build a system. And number four please hear this loud and clear Just own it when you mess up. No excuses, no disappearing acts. Just own it. Just say I told you I'd do this and I didn't, and I get why that's frustrating. I'm working on changing it. Just say I told you I'd do this and I didn't, and I get why that's frustrating. I'm working on changing it. And then actually work on changing it.
Stefani:That one sentence can rebuild more trust than empty promises ever could. This is how you shift. This is how you rebuild trust, not just with others, but with yourself. Because, let's be real, if you don't trust your own word, then how can anyone else? And listen, this doesn't happen overnight, but it can start today with one promise and one follow through, one moment where you decide my word matters again. That's the work, that's the power and that's how you earn back trust from others and, more importantly, from yourself.
Stefani:So if this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. Maybe it's a friend who keeps letting you down, maybe it's someone who's trying to do better, or maybe it's the person you used to be. And if you haven't yet hit that follow button so you don't miss a single episode, this space is for bold healing and rebuilding, and we're doing it together, one truth at a time. So this week, keep it real, keep it honest and, most of all, keep your word, because you're worth it. And if no one has told you today, I believe in you. See you next time.
