She Lost It
Welcome to She Lost It, the podcast for anyone ready to let go of what’s been weighing them down and step into a life they truly love. I’m Stefani—an accidental health coach, entrepreneur, mom, and someone who knows what it’s like to lose it all, start over, and come out stronger.
In this first episode, I’m sharing my story—the raw, real, and sometimes messy truth about how I went from drowning in anxiety, debt, food addiction, and people-pleasing to finally taking control of my life. But this podcast isn’t just about my journey—it’s about yours.
Each episode, I’ll share practical tips to help you break free from the patterns holding you back, whether it’s your mindset, your habits, or the stories you’ve been telling yourself. We’ll talk about what it takes to build grit, find your voice, and create a life that feels truly authentic.
Think of this as a conversation between friends—the kind where you leave feeling lighter, inspired, and ready to take action. So if you’re ready to lose what’s been keeping you stuck and gain a whole new perspective, hit play. Let’s do this together.
She Lost It
Protecting Your Energy: The Hardest Lesson I Had To Learn
Have you ever felt completely drained after certain conversations or interactions? That pit in your stomach when specific names appear on your phone? You're not alone. Today's powerful conversation tackles one of life's most challenging yet liberating lessons: protecting your energy isn't selfish—it's essential self-respect.
Drawing from my personal journey as a recovering codependent, I share the transformative moment sitting in my car after yet another depleting interaction when I realized I was betraying myself by constantly overextending for others. We've been sold the false narrative that being constantly available makes us good people, when in reality, it often leads to resentment, exhaustion, and disconnection from our authentic selves.
This episode offers practical guidance on identifying your energy leaks, setting boundaries without guilt, and handling the inevitable pushback when you start prioritizing your wellbeing. Learn the difference between healthy boundaries (filters, not walls) and using "protecting my energy" as an excuse to avoid growth. Discover why simple phrases like "That doesn't work for me" require no further explanation, and why not everyone deserves unlimited access to your life.
The most valuable lesson? Boundaries should make you feel lighter, not smaller. Your energy determines how much of yourself you get to keep—and you're absolutely worth keeping. Whether you're struggling with people-pleasing tendencies or simply feeling overwhelmed, this episode provides the permission and practical tools to reclaim your peace. Save this episode, share it with friends who need this message, and subscribe so you don't miss our ongoing conversation about authentic growth and courage.
Welcome to the she Lost it podcast. I'm Stefani, and this is a space for you to lose what's been holding you back. Talk about real growth, find courage and step into the life you were meant for. Welcome back to she Lost it. Today, I want to talk about one of the hardest lessons I have ever had to learn, but, good grief, once I learned it and began putting it into practice, it was one of the most freeing concepts of my health. And let me tell you this lesson it is not an easy one to learn, especially as a recovering codependent, but it's worth every second of growth. So let's get right into it.
Stefani Scotch:You ever wake up one day and realize you're just plain exhausted, not just physically, but mentally, emotionally. Like you've been giving so much of yourself to everything and everyone, there's just nothing left for you. Yes, I have been there too, and I had to learn the hard way that protecting my energy wasn't just important. It was necessary if I wanted to have any peace, joy or sanity in my life. So today we're going to talk about it. What does it actually mean to protect your energy, the mistakes I made along the way, and how to set boundaries without using them as an excuse to avoid doing hard things. So let's start with the story.
Stefani Scotch:I vividly remember sitting in my car after yet another conversation that had left me completely drained. You know those people where the second you see their name pop up on your phone you feel your stomach drop. Yep, I had those too, and for way too long. I answered, I listened, I overextended, I gave them my time, my energy until I had nothing left for myself. I can remember how absolutely drained I felt after getting off that phone call and how mad I was that I had let it happen again. Why could I not just end the call? Or why could I not just not answer? Why in the world could I not set this boundary? I just kept telling myself I had to let these energy vampires keep sucking the life out of me, as if it were my duty to society that I was being a good person, a good friend.
Stefani Scotch:But the truth I was betraying myself every single time I let this happen. That's a hard pill to swallow, because we're taught that being there for people means being available always, 24-7. The drop what you were doing that moment to be available to someone else. Type of availability. Why type of availability? Why that saying no is selfish and that setting boundaries makes you rude or cold, which is actually the biggest bill of goods and snake oil we've ever been sold. It's straight lies. Here's the actual truth.
Stefani Scotch:Protecting your energy is not selfish, it's self-respect, and it should be a non-negotiable. Energy is like money You're either investing it wisely or you're leaking it all over the place with nothing to show for it. Every yes you give is a no to something else, and for too long I was saying no to myself and yes to all the wrong things. So no wonder I felt exhausted, resentful and overwhelmed. So if you feel connected to this, it's probably time for you to check your energy leaks too.
Stefani Scotch:Here's how you know if this is hitting home for you. You feel drained after being around certain people. You know who they are. Or you say yes out of guilt, not because you actually want to, or you feel resentful but you don't speak up, or you're constantly explaining yourself and justifying your choices. If you're nodding your head right now, it's time to start setting some boundaries. But how do we do that without feeling like a complete jerk?
Stefani Scotch:Okay, let's start with a few simple tips. Number one get crystal clear on who or what is draining. You Ask yourself where am I giving energy that I just do not want to give? Is it certain conversations, certain people? Are you over committing to things you don't actually care about? It's time to start reevaluating. Number two start looking at boundaries as filters, not walls.
Stefani Scotch:I used to think setting boundaries meant pushing people away completely. It doesn't Well, sometimes it does, but mainly it means deciding who and what gets access to you. And let's be clear boundaries do not have to come with a full PowerPoint presentation. You don't need to explain yourself to anyone about why you need a boundary. No one Full stop, a simple I'm not available for that, or I don't have the capacity for this right now, or that doesn't work for me, and that's enough. Period, that's all you have to say.
Stefani Scotch:Number two be prepared because people will push back. And guess what? That's okay. Here's some more truth. When you start protecting your energy, the people who benefited from you not having those boundaries well, they're not gonna like it too much. They're gonna push back. They're going to guilt trip you. They might even make comments like gosh, you've really changed. Good, that means it's working. But let me tell you what happens. They might even make comments like gosh, you've really changed. Good, that means it's working. But let me tell you what happens on the other side of that discomfort One word peace, and that that is worth everything.
Stefani Scotch:So, number four you have to stop giving unlimited access to the people who drain you. Not everyone deserves a front row seat to your life. If someone is constantly bringing negativity, drama or stress into your world, you are allowed to take a step back. Negativity is like a cancer that spreads, and the only way to get rid of it is to stop feeding it and cut it out. Now, this doesn't mean you have to be that dramatic about it, okay, but it does mean that you just stop overgiving to the people who don't respect your time, energy or well-being, and you will know who those people are.
Stefani Scotch:Number five protect the things that recharge you. So protecting your energy is not just about cutting things out, it's making sure you are recharging yourself. So what gives you life? What makes you feel better after you do it? For me, that looks like getting up early, having time to myself with no distractions, setting the home to make it a peaceful environment, going to yoga, or even making an impromptu run to my favorite coffee shop to work on a project that I love, without asking anyone for permission because I did that for too long, or maybe even simply not breaking my back to respond to a text that's not urgent or an emergency. Protect that time, like your life depends on it because it does Okay.
Stefani Scotch:So now we have to talk about the side of protecting your energy, the other side of protecting your energy. But this part I need you to hear very clear. There's a whole other side to this boundaries and protecting your energy thing. Do not fall trap of letting this concept be an excuse to not do the things that push us in the name of setting boundaries. There is a difference between setting boundaries and just avoiding discomfort. So let's be real Sometimes we tell ourselves we're protecting our energy when really we're just dodging the things we don't want to do.
Stefani Scotch:So you have to check that. Saying no to toxic relationships, that's a healthy boundary. Saying no to things that stretch you, challenge you or make you better well, that's just your fear talking and your comfort zone falsely attempting to keep you safe, which will actually keep you stuck. Avoidance does not lead to peace. It leads to stagnation. Avoidance leads to the opposite of peace more stagnation, more anxiety. So here's the gut check question Am I setting a boundary or am I just avoiding something uncomfortable? Boundaries should make you feel lighter, not smaller.
Stefani Scotch:So, to wrap this up, I want to talk about how protecting your energy is self-respect and not an excuse to shrink. So, you guys, I spent too many years leaking energy in every direction, ignoring red flags, putting everyone else first, and, honestly, it nearly broke me. But the second I started protecting my energy, my peace, my courage, my confidence and my life. Well, it all began to change. So if this hits home for you, maybe it's time for yours to change too, because, friend, you are not here to be exhausted and resentful. You are here to be alive.
Stefani Scotch:Protecting your energy should feel empowering, not like a cop-out. So remember, if you're using it as a reason to stay in your comfort zone, you're not protecting yourself. You're just keeping yourself stuck, and you honestly deserve more than that, because, at the end of the day, the way you protect your energy determines how much of you you actually get to keep, and you, you're worth keeping. All right, friend, don't forget if you need someone in your corner cheering you on. That is what this podcast is here for, and if today's episode spoke to you, make sure you save it so you can listen to it as many times as you need, to Share it with a friend who may need to start protecting their energy too. And by all means, hit that follow and subscribe button because, well, we're just getting started and I don't want you to miss a thing. And remember, if no one has told you today, you are stronger than you realize and I believe in you. Thank you for being here with me. I'll see you next time.
