She Lost It
Welcome to She Lost It, the podcast for anyone ready to let go of what’s been weighing them down and step into a life they truly love. I’m Stefani—an accidental health coach, entrepreneur, mom, and someone who knows what it’s like to lose it all, start over, and come out stronger.
In this first episode, I’m sharing my story—the raw, real, and sometimes messy truth about how I went from drowning in anxiety, debt, food addiction, and people-pleasing to finally taking control of my life. But this podcast isn’t just about my journey—it’s about yours.
Each episode, I’ll share practical tips to help you break free from the patterns holding you back, whether it’s your mindset, your habits, or the stories you’ve been telling yourself. We’ll talk about what it takes to build grit, find your voice, and create a life that feels truly authentic.
Think of this as a conversation between friends—the kind where you leave feeling lighter, inspired, and ready to take action. So if you’re ready to lose what’s been keeping you stuck and gain a whole new perspective, hit play. Let’s do this together.
She Lost It
They Called You Higher..and You Got Mad.
Have you ever felt that immediate defensive reaction when someone suggests you're capable of more? That instant tightening in your chest, the flood of justifications, the urge to prove why you're doing enough already? You're not alone.
In this deeply personal episode, I share a transformative moment when someone I respect looked me in the eye and told me I was playing small. My immediate reaction? Pure defensiveness. But what followed was a profound realization that changed everything: what I perceived as an attack was actually the purest form of love - someone fighting FOR me, not against me.
We dive into why we often misinterpret growth challenges as personal criticism, exploring the psychology behind our defensiveness when called higher. I offer a game-changing question that completely shifted my perspective: "Am I offended because they're wrong, or because they're right and I'm scared to rise?" Along with four practical tools for transforming your response to challenging feedback, you'll discover how to recognize the difference between harmful criticism and loving confrontation.
This conversation is for anyone who's ever felt stuck between comfort and growth, for those wondering why feedback feels so threatening, and especially for those ready to recognize that sometimes, the most uncomfortable truths come from the people who see your greatest potential. Ready to stop mistaking love for attack? Your growth is waiting on the other side of this misunderstanding. Share your thoughts after listening - I'd love to hear how this resonates with your own journey toward embracing the uncomfortable call to greatness.
Welcome to the she Lost it podcast. I'm Stefani, and this is a space for you to lose what's been holding you back. Talk about real growth, find courage and step into the life you were meant for. Okay, friend, welcome back. First off, if no one has told you today, I just want you to know you were made for more, okay, and this episode is going to be an episode where we stop tiptoeing around our potential and finally start stepping into it. We're going to talk about something real. We're going to dive into something that every single one of us has struggled with. So here we go.
Stefani:Why is it that when someone calls us higher, we instantly feel attacked? You know what I mean. They say something like you were made for more, or don't settle, and suddenly your heart races, your fists clench and your brain starts building an entire case against them. Like you know they mean well, you know they love you, but your first reaction is going on the offense or defensiveness, maybe even a full-blown shutdown. So today we're going to break that down, because not every confrontation is criticism. Sometimes it's confirmation of who you really are. So grab your coffee, your walking shoes or, honestly, just your brain, and let's get right into it.
Stefani:So let me take you back to a moment I will never forget. Someone I love and respect so deeply looked me dead in the eye and she said you're playing small. You've got more in you than this and if you don't make a change, people aren't going to take you seriously. And you guys? I wish I could say that. I responded with oh my goodness, thank you so much for seeing me. Nope, I got defensive Instantly. My brain kicked in with huh. They have no idea what I've been through, they have no idea how hard I'm working. And they are judging me. But here's the truth that moment it wasn't about them coming for me, it was about them fighting for me. And it took me a hot minute, but I realized they weren't tearing me down. They were trying to pull me up. They were trying to call me higher, because that's the purest form of love someone can show you.
Stefani:So let me ask you has someone ever said something to you that stung a little, but deep down you knew it was true? Maybe they said it was true. Maybe they said you're settling, or you're avoiding the hard work, or you've been playing it safe. And instead of hearing that as love, you heard it as judgment. Well, here's the game changer. Sometimes the most loving thing someone can do is call you out on your own BS, not to shame you, not to guilt you, but to remind you of the version of you that you forgot about.
Stefani:So let's get real here. Why do we take offense when someone calls us higher Because we've tied our worth to our effort and we think, huh, I'm trying my best, don't tell me, it's not enough. We take it personally when really it's purpose, purposefully, and we confuse pressure with attack. But love isn't always soft. Love doesn't say you're fine, stay small. Love says I see you stuck and I love you too much to let you rot in a version of you that isn't the real you. And look, I get it. You've been through things, you've worked hard, you're exhausted, maybe burned out, maybe a little scared to try it again, but none of that changes the fact that you are capable of more.
Stefani:So let me give you a question that changed me. Am I offended because they are wrong or because they are right and I'm scared to rise, so that one hits right? Now let's talk tools, because you know I'm not just here to rant, I want to give you something to walk away with. So here's what to do the next time someone calls you higher and you feel offended. Let's start with number one. Just pause and ask yourself okay, what exactly is this triggered me? Is it their tone? Or is it something I already know? But I just don't want to face it.
Stefani:Number two look inward instead of outward. Ask yourself where am I still carrying shame that makes me resist being challenged. Number three identify the voice behind it. Is it someone who's walked with you, someone who knows you and wants the best for you? Then maybe, just maybe, they're not trying to hurt you. They're trying to help you heal and grow.
Stefani:Number four choose gratitude over defense Because listen most people they're not going to call you higher. Most people will watch you self-sabotage and say absolutely nothing. So if someone cares enough to say the hard thing, don't reject it. Receive it. Remember, tough love is still love. Calling someone higher is not cruelty, it's commitment to their growth and if you've got people in your life doing that for you, text them, call them today and thank them, because those people are very rare.
Stefani:All right, before I let you go, I want you to really sit with this. Who in your life is calling you higher and have you been mishearing it as an attack? And even deeper, where have you been playing small, because it's safer than being stretched? Well, this is your call to action. It's time to shift, it's time to grow and it's time to start recognizing love, even when it's wrapped in uncomfortable words.
Stefani:So thank you for being here with me today and, as always, if this episode hits home, do me a favor. Share it with someone else who needs to hear it too. Follow the show so you never miss an episode, or Share it with someone else who needs to hear it too. Follow the show so you never miss an episode, or save it for later if you want to come back to this message on a really hard day. And, most importantly, I want to know your thoughts. So send me a message or leave a review. I love hearing how this hits you and what comes up for you. Let this be your sign. It's not an attack, it's just a wake up call, and I'm right here in it with you. And if no one has told you today, I believe in you. See you next time.
