She Lost It
Welcome to She Lost It, the podcast for anyone ready to let go of what’s been weighing them down and step into a life they truly love. I’m Stefani—an accidental health coach, entrepreneur, mom, and someone who knows what it’s like to lose it all, start over, and come out stronger.
In this first episode, I’m sharing my story—the raw, real, and sometimes messy truth about how I went from drowning in anxiety, debt, food addiction, and people-pleasing to finally taking control of my life. But this podcast isn’t just about my journey—it’s about yours.
Each episode, I’ll share practical tips to help you break free from the patterns holding you back, whether it’s your mindset, your habits, or the stories you’ve been telling yourself. We’ll talk about what it takes to build grit, find your voice, and create a life that feels truly authentic.
Think of this as a conversation between friends—the kind where you leave feeling lighter, inspired, and ready to take action. So if you’re ready to lose what’s been keeping you stuck and gain a whole new perspective, hit play. Let’s do this together.
She Lost It
Moving Forward When Self-Doubt Screams: Building Confidence Through Action
Have you ever been paralyzed by that voice in your head screaming that you're not enough? That familiar heaviness that makes you question everything you're doing? You're far from alone. This raw, unfiltered conversation dives into what it truly takes to move forward when self-doubt is riding shotgun.
Confidence doesn't appear before action—it's built through the messy, imperfect moments when we choose to show up anyway. Through personal stories of awkward firsts and uncomfortable growth, we explore how real confidence isn't handed to us but earned through keeping promises to ourselves. The truth is, our brains are wired for safety, not growth, which explains why they fight so hard against the vulnerability that comes with putting ourselves out there.
What if the win isn't in the perfect outcome but in the brave choice to begin? What if success actually requires being willing to be embarrassed, misunderstood, and seen trying before you're ready? This episode challenges the notion that we need to feel confident before taking action, offering practical strategies like starting a "proof journal" to document your courage. Whether you're feeling stuck, uninspired, or buried under the weight of perfectionism, this conversation offers a permission slip to embrace the messiness of growth and recognize that every awkward step forward is actually building something powerful—trust in yourself. Your purpose isn't to be perfect; it's to serve through your authentic, brave, messy humanity.
Ready to stop waiting for permission and start building real confidence? Listen now, and remember: be bold, be brave, and know that I believe in you.
Welcome to the she Lost it podcast. I'm Stefani, and this is a space for you to lose what's been holding you back. Talk about real growth, find courage and step into the life you were meant for. Okay, friend, welcome back. If you have been having one of those weeks you know the kind where you feel off, maybe a little sad for no reason, uninspired, stuck heavy, where self-doubt is screaming louder than usual and you've started questioning everything, then this is the episode you need to hear. Is the episode you need to hear because I've been in it too this week. It hit me so hard the blankness, the what's the point? Feeling the voice in my head saying no one cares, you're not enough, you're boring and you should just quit. But I sat down anyways with these headphones and this microphone, even with self-doubt riding shotgun, and not because I feel confident or ready or prepared, but because I am not going to let self-doubt run the show. And if that's where you're at too, then pull up a chair, because we're going to get into it today. We are going to get into how to move forward messy, unpolished, and how to build confidence by just taking action, even when it's hard. This one is raw, it's real, but it's exactly what I needed to say, and maybe it's exactly what you need to hear. So, instead of spiraling deeper into the pit that self-doubt was building for me, I have hit record. I have sat down messy, uncertain, not perfectly prepped, but with you right now. So let's figure it out. Let's figure out how to show up when we don't feel like it, how to act before we feel ready and how to stop letting our inner critic run the show.
Stefani Scotch:So what do you do when self-doubt starts screaming? Since the last time I was with you, the voices in my head were screaming things like no one cares what you have to say. You are boring. People would rather watch paint dry. You're not good enough. And who in the world do you think you are? I know those lies. They're from my bully brain, lies designed to keep me small, because our brains are wired for safety, not growth. And showing up, sharing your voice, trying something new, that is risky and that's super uncomfortable, but that's the very thing your brain will try to talk you out of. But here's the truth I come back to every single time. Our purpose is to serve and to use what we've learned in life to help someone else. And that can look like a million different things, but what it doesn't look like hiding, shrinking and believing those lies, because that's not serving anyone. So here I am speaking to you, fulfilling my purpose, even with self-doubt in the room still screaming at me, and I'm doing it messy.
Stefani Scotch:So this week was a week of messy firsts for me. You know, you've had them too. So I was asked to be a guest on a video cast and I shared my story in front of strangers and I had no clue what I was doing and I didn't know what to expect. I didn't feel prepared, I didn't have a polished script, but I said yes anyways, and I just figured it out along the way. Was it perfect? Nope, was it polished? Not even close, but I did it. I did it messy, I did it brave and I did it human, and that is what builds confidence.
Stefani Scotch:Confidence doesn't show up first. Action does. You don't have to be confident, you just have to be brave. And being brave, well, that's a choice. And being bold, that is also a choice. And stepping into action even when it's awkward and unsure, that is what will move you forward. And, let's be honest, most of us think we'll act once we feel ready. We have to get ready to get ready. But the truth is, you won't feel ready until you just start acting.
Stefani Scotch:Confidence is built through evidence. It's built through I did it anyways. It's built through gosh that was super awkward, but I survived. And it's built through showing up scared and realizing that fear isn't actually fatal. Want to feel confident, you have to give your brain proof, proof that you can trust yourself, proof that you can follow through and proof that you keep your word to yourself. You have to start small, start scrappy, but you have to start. And here's the thing you have to start small, start, scrappy, but you have to start.
Stefani Scotch:And here's the thing you have to look out for Self-sabotage, because there is a deeper layer of this. Underneath the perfectionism, the procrastination, there's this sticky, painful belief of I'm just not enough. And that's not a confidence issue, that's just a self-worth wound, because you will never rise above what you believe you're worth. So many people hit a new level, including myself, and immediately sabotage it, not because we're incapable, but because, deep down, we don't believe we deserve it. And this is why showing up, even when it's messy, matters, because it teaches you hey, I can be trusted. I don't have to be perfect, to be worthy, and my voice it matters that right, there is how you rewrite your story Not by faking confidence, but by earning trust with yourself, by keeping the promises you make to yourself. But here's another thing you have to let go of the outcome. You have to marry the process and divorce the results.
Stefani Scotch:What if the win wasn't the actual result? What if the win was that you did it? The winning was in the action that you took, that you said yes, that you tried, that you showed up when you didn't feel like it. That is success and that is the shift, and that is how you break free from perfection. So here's one practical tip Start a proof journal Every day. Jot down something you did that stretched you, that made you uncomfortable, that you said yes to before you knew what to do, whether it's big or small, because proof stacks up and that stack becomes your armor. The next time that bully brain says to you who do you think you are? You'll have evidence and you'll say I'm someone who shows up.
Stefani Scotch:Success is going to be embarrassing. It means being misunderstood. It means outgrowing people. It means being seen trying before you're ready. And if you're not willing to be cringe. And if you're not willing to be awkward, then maybe you need to ask yourself are you really ready to grow?
Stefani Scotch:The version of you that you're becoming is not created through safety and it's not created through waiting until you have it all figured out. It's created through being brave and being bold. And bravery also means loving every version of you that got you here, because there's many, many versions the 11-year-old girl who carried way too much. The 38-year-old woman caught in food addiction, anxiety and dishonesty. And the 43-year-old, healing, helping others and living her second chance. So those versions are versions of me that I've learned to love and I've learned to forgive and I have learned to give grace to. And sometimes I catch myself and I think who am I? Because this version? I'm not perfect, I'm not real, but I'm honest and that's freeing.
Stefani Scotch:So if you are in one of your before versions right now, just know you're not too far gone, it's not too late, you are allowed to change and you are allowed to love every version of you along the way. You are living proof that you are someone who shows up up. So here is where we land this plane. You don't need to feel confident to take action. You just need to take action, that next version of you that you're chasing. It's not waiting on the perfect time or flawless execution. She's just waiting on proof Proof that you will show up even when it's hard. So let this be that moment, not where you have it all figured out, but where you decided to stop waiting for permission, but where you took the first messy, brave step, where you started building real confidence by doing the thing. Confidence isn't something you're handed. It's something you earn. One awkward, honest, beautiful step at a time.
Stefani Scotch:If you're in the thick of a hard week, let this be your reminder You're not too far behind, you're not broken. You don't need to hustle your way to worthiness. You just need to prove to yourself today that you are someone who shows up even when it's messy, even when it's hard, who shows up even when it's messy, even when it's hard, even when the voice in your head says you're not enough, because every time you do, you are becoming the kind of person you can trust, and that that is where your confidence lives. So thanks for hanging out with me today. If this episode spoke to you, share it with a friend who needs this little push. And don't forget, hit subscribe so you never miss an episode until next time. Be bold, be brave, and if no one has told you today, I believe in you. See you next time.
