She Lost It
Welcome to She Lost It, the podcast for anyone ready to let go of what’s been weighing them down and step into a life they truly love. I’m Stefani—an accidental health coach, entrepreneur, mom, and someone who knows what it’s like to lose it all, start over, and come out stronger.
In this first episode, I’m sharing my story—the raw, real, and sometimes messy truth about how I went from drowning in anxiety, debt, food addiction, and people-pleasing to finally taking control of my life. But this podcast isn’t just about my journey—it’s about yours.
Each episode, I’ll share practical tips to help you break free from the patterns holding you back, whether it’s your mindset, your habits, or the stories you’ve been telling yourself. We’ll talk about what it takes to build grit, find your voice, and create a life that feels truly authentic.
Think of this as a conversation between friends—the kind where you leave feeling lighter, inspired, and ready to take action. So if you’re ready to lose what’s been keeping you stuck and gain a whole new perspective, hit play. Let’s do this together.
She Lost It
Feel the Fear and Build It Anyway: How to Stop Letting What-Ifs Control Your Life
Have you ever felt that heart-pounding, palm-sweating sensation when facing something that scares you? That feeling that whispers "who do you think you are?" right when you're about to take a risk? Welcome to the debut episode of She Lost It, where we dive deep into understanding how fear works as our compass, not our stop sign.
Standing in front of the mirror four years ago, I barely recognized myself. Years of people-pleasing and playing small had buried my dreams under layers of self-doubt and worry about others' opinions. But that day, something shifted. Not because I suddenly became brave – I was terrified – but because a tiny voice whispered: "What if you try anyway?"
This podcast was born from that question. Recording this first episode with shaking hands and a nervous stomach, I'm sharing the revelation that transformed my relationship with fear: you don't overcome fear before taking action; you develop courage because of action. Fear isn't the problem; staying stuck because of it is.
Through personal stories and practical strategies – from naming your specific fears to celebrating imperfect progress – we explore how to break free from paralysis. I share the seven words that became my mantra ("Feel the fear and build it anyway") and offer three powerful techniques to move forward despite uncertainty. When that microphone appeared under my Christmas tree with the note "Everything is a dream until you make it real," I knew it was time to stop running.
Whether you're contemplating a career change, a difficult conversation, or any dream that won't leave you alone, this episode offers a compassionate nudge toward that first step. Subscribe to join our community of courageous builders who are learning to recognize fear not as the enemy, but as an invitation to grow beyond what we thought possible.
Welcome to the she Lost it podcast. I'm Stephanie, and this is a space for you to lose whatever has been holding you back. Talk about real growth and find courage and step into the life you were meant for. If you've ever let fear stop you, whether it's chasing a dream, speaking up or taking that big leap of faith, well this episode it's for you In this podcast. It's been living rent-free in my head for years and now here we are, it's day one and I'm going to be real with you.
Speaker 1:Hitting record on this episode makes me feel like I might just throw up. I'm sitting on the floor in a sunroom not a fancy studio, just me, you, this microphone and a few pillows. My palms are sweaty, my stomach is in knots and every part of me is screaming. Who do you think you are? But you know what I'm doing it anyways, because here's what I've learned Fear isn't a stop sign. It's actually a signal, and if you're listening to this, chances are there's something you've been putting off too. Maybe it's a dream or a decision, or just a really hard conversation or a goal that's been sitting in the back of your mind collecting dust in the back of your mind collecting dust. Maybe fear has been whispering to you what if you fail? What if you're not good enough? Or what if people judge you? Or maybe the scariest thought of all, what if you actually succeed? That one hit me hard. So today we're talking about fear how to recognize it, how to stop letting it control you and how to move forward while still feeling it. Because, let me tell you, waiting for fear to go away before you take action, that's a trap. It's like waiting on an airplane at a train station, and the moment when you feel ready never actually comes.
Speaker 1:So let me take you back four years. I'm standing in front of the mirror, staring at a version of myself I did not recognize. I had spent years people-pleasing, overthinking, playing small. I was deep in food addiction, self-doubt and a cycle of just getting by and, honestly, I felt invisible, like I was living my life for everyone else. And I had all these dreams when I was younger. You know you had them too. They were big, exciting, world-changing dreams. I wanted to be an actress, a country music star, a sports journalist, but somewhere along the way they got muted, watered down, buried under fear, exhaustion and worried about what people will think.
Speaker 1:Then, one day, I just couldn't ignore it anymore. I was tired, tired of shrinking myself, tired of living on autopilot, tired of carrying the weight of everyone else's expectations. But let me be clear, I wasn't just suddenly brave. I was actually terrified. Terrified of failing, terrified of what people might say, terrified of falling flat on my face. But then this tiny voice inside of me whispered what if you try anyway? And that question, it was the spark that I needed.
Speaker 1:So something I've come to learn is fear is not the problem, but staying stuck because of it is. That moment taught me something huge. Fear isn't there to stop us. It's actually the compass that shows us and pushes us right to the edge of our comfort zone, and that is the place where growth happens. So, with my hands shaking, my heart pounding, I took the first step toward building a life that actually felt like mine. And guess what? It was really messy and it was really uncomfortable, and I second guessed myself a lot. But every time I faced fear, instead of running from it, I got stronger. I started losing not just physical weight but the emotional weight of expectations that weren't even mine to carry. And that's when everything started to shift. And in my mind there was another small voice that said this one phrase over and over and over again. That changed everything for me, and I still use it every day to help catapult me into whatever it is that makes me feel that heart-pounding, palm-sweaty feeling.
Speaker 1:So here it is. Seven words Feel the fear and build it anyways. But what does that actually mean? To feel the fear and do it anyway? Well, it means recognizing that fear is normal, it's part of growth, it's not a red light, it's a green light with butterflies, and it means taking action before you feel ready. I've made some pretty terrifying decisions over the years Becoming a health coach, leaving my marriage, opening up about my struggles, stepping out of codependency, admitting my struggles with food addiction and anxiety disorder, and now starting this podcast. And every single one of them started with fear. But I've learned that courage doesn't come before action. Courage comes because of action.
Speaker 1:So if there's something on your heart you've been putting off, I want you to ask yourself three things. Number one what exactly am I afraid of? Number two, what's the next smallest step I can take? And number three, why does this matter to me? Fear isn't the problem. Staying stuck because of it is. So how do we move through the fear instead of letting it control you. Well, here's three tips that have helped me and I think they might help you too.
Speaker 1:So first, name your fear, write it down. Write down exactly what it is you're afraid of Sometimes putting it on paper takes away its power and be specific. What's the worst that could happen? And then challenge that thought by writing down what's the best that could happen. For example, if you're scared to speak up at work, the worst might be mild embarrassment, but the best it could open doors you never imagined.
Speaker 1:Second, take tiny steps. Okay, big leaps can feel overwhelming, so break it down Instead of thinking about the whole thing. Ask yourself what's the next smallest step I can take. If you're scared to start a new project, commit to spending just 10 minutes a day on it. Then do it again the next day. Small actions build momentum, and momentum builds courage, and courage builds confidence. And number three celebrate progress, not perfection. Perfection is a lie that will keep you stuck every day of the week. So every step forward, no matter how small, that's a victory. Growth happens in the doing, not in the waiting for everything to feel just right. So keep a journal of your wins, even the tiny ones, and over time they will add up and remind you of just how far you've come, and then there will be signs you won't be able to ignore.
Speaker 1:So let me tell you a little story about how this podcast actually got started. So for months I kept putting off starting this podcast. I kept telling myself that is so silly. Who would even listen? So I just kept pushing it aside. Then, on Christmas morning, there it was. I opened it up and right there, staring back at me, was a microphone and a quote that said everything is a dream until you make it real. And I just sat there staring at it. It was as if God was putting my own dream right in my face, daring me to stop running from it. Fast forward.
Speaker 1:A few weeks later, as I was rehearsing my best attempt to talk myself out of starting this podcast, I saw a single leaf fall from a tree. And it hit me. God was telling me to let go. Let go of the excuses, let go of the past, let go of the fear of failing, let go of the fear of what other people might think, let go of the fear of not knowing where to start. Just let go. Feel the fear and build it anyway. So here we are sitting together in this room feeling the fear and building it anyways.
Speaker 1:So here's my challenge for you what's the one thing you've been avoiding because it scares you? The dream that won't leave you alone, the goal that makes your stomach flip Starting the business, writing the book, or having that really hard conversation. This is your sign to feel the fear and do it anyway. You don't have to feel ready, you just have to take the first step. So your challenge this week take one bold step towards that one thing that scares you, just one.
Speaker 1:And if you need someone in your corner cheering you on that's what this podcast is here for Write it down, name the fear and then take one small step towards it, because if I can sit here sweating through my shirt, terrified to put this podcast into the world and do it anyway, then so can you. And listen. If nobody else tells you this today, I believe in you. And listen. If nobody else tells you this today, I believe in you. All right, friend, if this episode hits home for you, if you're sitting there nodding like, oh my gosh, she's in my head, do me a favor Subscribe so you don't miss the next episode. Share this with a friend who needs to hear it. We are not doing this alone. And remember fear isn't your enemy, it's just your invitation to grow. So let's be scared and build it anyway. See you next time.
